he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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