Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
