I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
