at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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