idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
