theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
