sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
