Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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