I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
