It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You were trust falling into bushes
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
