Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
