I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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