I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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