So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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