booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
