i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
True strength comes from lack of pants
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
