Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
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I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
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nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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