I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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