yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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