party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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