I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
