Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
