Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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