Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
