What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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