he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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