Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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