i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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