Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
