It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.