Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance