What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
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Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
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"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.