I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.