We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize