LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
