I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
