I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
