even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
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I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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