we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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