You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
