just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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