Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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