is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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