It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
