Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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