no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
