I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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