As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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