his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
