Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson