Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  capris are just wrong

  (703): View more from Virginia

  its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"

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  (703): capris are just wrong (703): its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!" http://tfl.nu/xkxd
  Replies (55) Good night (969) Bad night (2588)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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  (617): I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot. http://tfl.nu/tunm
  Replies (45) Good night (1505) Bad night (5030)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen

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  (860): I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen http://tfl.nu/pyhr
  Replies (59) Good night (6696) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine

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  (703): She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine http://tfl.nu/jb79
  Replies (41) Good night (750) Bad night (5332)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees

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  (360): He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees http://tfl.nu/gf2k
  Replies (19) Good night (4931) Bad night (2703)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  well he's currently spooning the coffee table

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  (409): well he's currently spooning the coffee table http://tfl.nu/7khb
  Replies (6) Good night (4176) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.

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  (631): Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel. http://tfl.nu/lrsp
  Replies (17) Good night (4397) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME

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  (443): EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME http://tfl.nu/5t87
  Replies (2) Good night (2035) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.

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  (662): Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse. http://tfl.nu/b0l0
  Replies (6) Good night (1604) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually

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  (931): i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually http://tfl.nu/wdhn
  Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!

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  (908): Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas! http://tfl.nu/asvm
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?

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  (+44): are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper? http://tfl.nu/40vp
  Replies (3) Good night (861) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.

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  (425): I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh. http://tfl.nu/ednt
  Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.

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  (810): Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great. http://tfl.nu/ppa3
  Replies (9) Good night (685) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  I feel awkward giving career advice while naked

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  (819): I feel awkward giving career advice while naked http://tfl.nu/b8zx
  Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (191)

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