i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
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Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
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I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"