Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand http://tfl.nu/wt71
  Replies (35) Good night (4312) Bad night (1559)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me. http://tfl.nu/9e4p
  Replies (6) Good night (896) Bad night (3883)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina. http://tfl.nu/6q39
  Replies (290) Good night (4232) Bad night (2785)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism. http://tfl.nu/fmul
  Replies (15) Good night (5914) Bad night (1486)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy http://tfl.nu/f2lx
  Replies (40) Good night (4820) Bad night (2112)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED. http://tfl.nu/dr1s
  Replies (13) Good night (2265) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment. http://tfl.nu/97ug
  Replies (4) Good night (1869) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Agreed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree? (1-303): Agreed. http://tfl.nu/l0rd
  Replies (7) Good night (1411) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica. http://tfl.nu/fg5p
  Replies (4) Good night (942) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.

  (254): View more from Texas

  It's 2 pm....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas. (254): It's 2 pm.... http://tfl.nu/onth
  Replies (3) Good night (1892) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum. http://tfl.nu/7kvh
  Replies (1) Good night (330) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of http://tfl.nu/8cwz
  Replies (6) Good night (849) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer http://tfl.nu/w9ex
  Replies (3) Good night (568) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  When was that?

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy. (605): When was that? (515): Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy. http://tfl.nu/qcf9
  Replies (9) Good night (681) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud. http://tfl.nu/kqei
  Replies (5) Good night (1100) Bad night (259)

Randomize