didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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