Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
