I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.