i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
