That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
