Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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