just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
