fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
