Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
All I want is dick and wine.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
