I just gift wrapped bread.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
