thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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