i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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