i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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