is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
