He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
