I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
