Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He felt like a one man threesome
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
