ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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