If that was your dad, he is hot
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
