What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
