Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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