What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Rumble strips road head = magical
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
